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Galileo

Duck in a Bar

A Duck walks into a bar.
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread[After a few minutes]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread[In a little while]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any F*****g bread![Some time later]
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any F*****g bread once more I'm
gonna nail your F*****g bill to this bar......
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?

Idiot

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up " said
the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his
feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot? " enquired
the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself. "